Transform Outcomes By Changing How You Think
Sometimes, it’s nice just to learn something quick.
Something actionable, something with immediate benefit.
Something that can be applied right now, today, next week and beyond.
Today, you will learn whether you are applying negative emotional biases in your life, and better yet, how to transition from a negative perception of what’s going around you to a more positive one. This will ensure success.
Our manners, understanding and perception of the world is location and experience specific. What is seen as rude in one city may be perfectly acceptable in another. We learn our manners through our upbringing and through the society in which we live. We often know, after receiving a dirty look or comment, that we have done something wrong or unacceptable.
But what do we know really about these responses?
All we can do is assume that this feedback actually means something.
This can be dangerous; it’s open to interpretation, personal biases and so on.
It’s very common for humans to guess what is going on in someone’s head, or even their life for that matter.
And the ability to understand what others are thinking is a really helpful tool, and can be advantageous if used appropriately.
A lot of us even spend the majority of our lives trying to cultivate this very ability.
And most of us have met those people who just cannot read others, or a situation. Do not pick up the vibes or the message that is being put out there. The message that everybody else seems to understand and appreciate.
The consequences of that inability can be pretty severe.
So the problem with ‘mind-reading’ if we call it that is not the act of trying to get into someone’s head.
It is the act of doing so, but processing our assumptions, filtered by our own negative biases.
In other words, assuming that another person is thinking negatively about you, when in fact they are not.
This correlates heavily with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and confidence.
This is seen a lot in an Office environment.
Placed into context, this would look something like:
‘My boss is threatened by me and believes that I am trying to take his job’
‘Why does that colleague dislike me and give me funny looks, I’ve never even spoke to them’
“They probably think this, they probably think that”
It’s all hypothetical; it may not be true. In fact, it is often NOT true.
Just think about it, this way of thinking will make you feel depressed or have low self-esteem. Why wouldn’t you feel this way if you believed everyone was always thinking negatively of you. This is a miserable way to exist, and some of us are not even aware this is our standard thinking pattern. Some of us just cannot turn it off.
This leads to behavior changes:
Maybe you avoid social events with colleagues
Maybe you don’t network, or talk to colleagues on your floor or in your department
Maybe you avoid the boss because you think he doesn’t like you or you are not worthy of his time?
The Solution – No More Negative Emotional Biases:
So the key to resolving this negative feedback loop is and you don’t even have to stop doing it. It is likely it is so ingrained in you anyway so trying to turn it off would not be an effective long term strategy.
Getting in someone’s head is also a useful tool, if used correctly. What we need to do instead, is improve our skill set in translating the feedback inside our own head.
In other words, improve our ability to interpret social information more effectively than and with as little bias as possible. Or more effectively, with a more positive bias.
So back to our examples:
‘My boss values my contribution and believes that I have opportunity to be promoted within the organisation’
‘Why does that colleague frequently look at me, perhaps they want to talk’.
You see, neither of these scenarios could be true. But, by placing a positive spin onto the thought, the whole context changes and there is now opportunity for growth, for networking and for progression.
Moreover, this will place you in a more stable and happy mind-set, which will drive more positive actions and behaviors. This will further improve your productivity and your relationships inside the office.
So give it a try; begin to interpret events, situations and thoughts in a more positive way. Let me know your limiting beliefs and how altering to a positive mind-set changes your results in the comments section below.
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